It might take your whole life to fully understand one person.
It might also take one minute to totally hate one person.
So pls dun make me hate u....

哈哈好可笑。。。 還以爲這些人可以信， 但原來是我太天真了。。
天真到無法相信我是這個樣子。。。

3yrs!!

Happy 3yrs anniversary!!! Lolx.. so fast had been working in SATS for 3yrs liao..
Haha.. stil rmb e first day solo at work was like so STRESS!!! n keep saying that i wanna quit, quit, quit.. But now still stuck thr haha.. At least over thr i dun need to bring work hm la.. so its still ok haha dun need to stress project or deadlines!!!
But seeing 1 by 1 my friends are all leaving sad sia.. if local friends still ok at least still can meet up but if foreign friend.. jialat la.. cant meet up le.. only can go holi tog then can.. sad man... But i still kinda like my post now. currently at CSU -Customer Service Unit- Gud ting is they wont throw me here n thr liao but bad is encounter alot of ridiculous pax.. Damn freaking demanding sia.. wan this n tt la.. hai.. but as i work learn to listen but aft off work.. hehe forget everything.. haha.. dun wanna stree myself wz this kinda thing la.. not worth it.
Still tinking wanna go tahle part time course not.. but no $$ sia.. if full time then whr to work.. stress leh.. wanna take japan language course de.. but price is like $$$$$ sian... self study no motivation leh haha.. but still will try to learn abit la lolz.. ok going off to slp!! nitey!!

Chalet... 3d2n chalet was not bad but still abit not happy. But anyway still enjoy a little break frm work lolx.. glad tt xianzheng came n stay for both night and steven stay on e last night haha.. if not i tink i will be super bored lo. Its great to have this kindda gathering once a while cos its been ages i haven seen some of them le.. have a nice little chat n realised tt every1 really have some changes. of cos have gud n bad but well haha its better then no changes ba.. now planning for dec chalet my bday!!! haha cfm will force every1 ti come de dun care lolz.. i really miss my ite days man.. we are like so carefree tt time.. now have to stress this n that hai...

愛情

愛情到底是什麼樣子﹐什麼滋味和什麼感覺?

人人往往都在尋找著他們所現象的樣子﹐滋味和感覺。

但往往一旦愛情來臨時﹐他們想都沒想的墬如愛河裡。

就算那個人不是他們所現象的也沒顧慮得一頭栽進去。

然後在戀愛中設法從對方的身上尋找他們所現象的樣子。

但往往都找不到﹐應為你所理想的愛情都不可能會存在的。

可是有沒有想過﹐為什麼你會在一開始就迷戀這個人呢?

就算他沒有你想要的個性﹐樣貌﹔但就是不知道為什麼還會喜歡上他。

或許這樣的愛情比較適合你﹐也可能你才會很幸福的走下去。

但我們都被自己想要的東西給撩亂了。

所以才會等到失去後才發現﹐原來他才是最適合你的。

是什麽感覺呢？

被人討厭是不是很可怕？如果是以前的我一定會覺得很可怕，所以才會拼命的想討好別人歡欣。就算是做我不喜歡的事也沒關係。但在日子一天一天，一年一年的的過我就不覺得可怕了。有可能是認識到真正的好朋友吧，就是不會看外表或看你有沒有利用的價值才和你做朋友的。也許就是應為他們，而我才能做我自己。雖然我還在尋找真正的我，但以目前的情形來看我很喜歡現在的自己。所以我也給自己一個“理由”，如果他們討厭我的話，沒關係應為他們不了解我。不知為什麽的，我縂覺得如果是我朋友的話，你就該知道我爲什麽會有這樣子的決定。很自私吧？但也是我把我真正的一面也讓他們認識了所以相信他們不會懷疑我或討厭我。但有句話説得好“你不需要解釋，應為你朋友不需要理由，而你的敵人也不會相信。” 所以是我朋友的話，請不要討厭我。如果你們有什麽不滿意的可以當面跟我說。。

心情鬱悶

心情鬱悶。。。 不知道爲什麽我都會經歷被人利用，背叛。。。 爲什麽我都會經歷這些呢？？ 把我對他們的好都當成是應該的，好像是我欠他們似的。。 真不明白。。 很多說不出口的都悶在心理，快要把我逼瘋了。。。 最好的朋友敏睿也換了新工作，她是我第一個正著信任的。應為經歷過太多的背叛和欺負，讓我好像太依賴她了。 好像我所信任的人都一個個慢慢的離開了。 是老天在懲罰我嗎？？ 希望不是應為我恐怕撐不了再多的利用和背叛。 難道真心對別人好也不是一件好事嗎?對，有時候不是真心的，但我還是把他們儅朋友啊。。。 心理真的好亂好亂。。。 多麽希望現在我有一筆錢，那就可以出國散散心了。。 還有黃湧文。。。 我還真的還很想念他， 真不知道他人現在在那裏。。 真的好想他。。。

I WAN THEM BACK !!!!!

Tis few days really torturing. Pa had a quarrel wz his temple members n 1 of the member quit goin thr liao n he tinks its his fault but e member already told him not his fault but he still tink its his. Morning at work dunno whr he went to was searching high n low for him. God if can pls bless him even if he is really wrg but look by how he help out at e temple for 20 over yrs liao. If can i dun mind reducing 10yrs frm me if everything can be back to normal.. i rather he is strict then he is now. The him now i have ttl never ever saw be4. N now i began to notice im a lot like my mum.. really even if small matters but we will still cry.. PLS GOD GIVE ME BACK MY FAMILY LIKE WAT IT IS LAST 10YRS PLS!!! DUN TORTURE US ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!

。。。

最近發生太多不愉快的事。 朋友對我的看法﹐ 我曾經想過不要管別人怎麼看我應為
他們不了解我所以我也不用去關他們。 但在這個新公司做了2年認識了很多人。 原
本我根本不相信女人但在這里認識到很多女人也開始適著去相信他們而我做到了。
但沒想到我還是錯的。不是我不相信他們而是我沒辦法過我這關。我想我應該沒跟
人家說我的第六 感很準吧。有其是對於這點應為我曾經被所謂的朋友狠狠的背叛過
所以我不相信女人。也因此只要朋友們有那麼一點點的討論我﹐我就會非常的敏感。
我知道朋友都會討論誰誰誰的﹐但我還是沒辦法這麼的敏感。我經過這麼多的努力
才變成現在這樣子﹐但還是過不了這關。 我真的有想過發生車禍還是甚麼的然我失
意。把全部的事都忘掉那該多好。真的很難受心理都悶悶的。很想找個地方把自己
藏起來一陣子把那些不開心的統統都忘掉不去里會。。。

對你的想念

或許那一年我們認識的時候我就喜歡上你了，只是我沒去理會也沒去管應為那時的我根本不知道怎樣談戀愛也很沒自信。但沒想到經過這麼多年我才發現，原來我根本沒有忘記你只是把你埋在我心理的最深處。深到我自己都沒發現直道有一天很突然的非常非常想你，想你到我都沒法做我自己。7年了吧，很遺憾的我還是沒你的消息。甚至有時我會想你有出現在我的生命裏嗎。應為我想在連你的臉長什麽樣都忘了，該說我們認識的時候是錯的時間嗎？應為我相信如果是現在的我，我會向你告白的。 如果可以我真的真的很想再見你一次。就算一眼我也心甘情願。很謝謝你給我的美好回憶。我會把它放在我心理的最深處。。。。黃湧文謝謝你，讓我有這麽美好的一段回憶。。

ITE

I just realized i miss those days more than i do. Miss all those laughter, fun, happiness. Ppl say ITE is a place for ppl who dun like to study, not serious in their life, no "use" to the public well jus a place for useless ppl. But for me, its a place whr i get to know real ppl, be it gud or bad. Real friends that will stay for u the whole life, real feelings as u no need to hide ur thoughts. As in secondary sch, i was a quiet gal. Keep everything to herself cos i dun trust any1. And i meant every single ppl in my life even my family members. Cos i was betray, make use, backstab by ppl who so call "sister" in my secondary sch then so i lose trust in ppl n at hm i didnt get along wz my family members cos i thought that they dun understand me n i oso dun like to tok to them which lead to depression. I really did though of committing suicide not once but few times. Like cutting my wrist or jumping frm a building. But of cos i nvr try jumping down but cutting my wrist i did tried. Thinking back i realise that i was really stupid la. Then aft i went to ITE, i began to trust ppl, share my secrets. I learn to speak up for myself, enjoy myself in sch and most of all i can be myself cos i use to be wat other ppl wan me to be n i really mind wat other ppl tink of me. But now, well if u tink that im a person not worthy of ur friend then be it, cos i cant chng ur thinking n its tiring to please every single ppl so i dun really bother that much. I really miss my alpha zone, tts e place whr i really really enjoy myself to the max, play like nobody business haha.. but too bad i didnt take pics when i was in ITE. Cos thats the days when im really enjoying my teenage life. If ite n sec day can be swop i will be most happy. Im glad that i know ppl frm thr especially my class ppl n danny they all ur know who u are la.. ur make changes to me. N of cos alpha zone ppl haha.. ur lighten up my life... many many thks to all of ur!!

WYW...

This 3days had been slacking at hm.. Doin nth at all jus tidy up a bit of my clothes. Suddenly he came to my mind. Wong Yong Wen.. Ya aft so many god damn yrs i still remember him but his face i cant seems to remember clearly. Wonder how is he, is he getting gud in life, what he is doing now. Still remember the first time i saw him was at the temple tt my father help out at. But tt time i still introvert so didnt spoke to him till my cousin say tt got a new young guy here y dun go tok to him. Lolz.. thinking back was still kinda funny. Then aft tt they had an outing catching crab at sembawang beach. That was the first time we had a conversation. But not a long 1. Haha.. Still remember that year i was 13 or 14 yrs old n i give him a present n ya a letter lolz.. come to think of it i think he is e 1 n only whom i wrote letter to.. But really forgot wat i wrote liao. Then still remember got once my father call him using our house phone n aft tt i redial back.. haha n ya i was damn happy tt time spoke a few sentence. After tt every time i went to e temple was so looking forward to see him. Jus a glance will make my happy. But when i was sec 4, that time was when he went missing in my life. I didnt know whr he went until i ask my cousin n was told tt he went to army. Aft so many yr i still didnt saw him. But like 3 or 4 yr back 2 of my sec sch classmate saw him n they call me. I was really happy cos at least i know tt he really exist. But fate was so funny. He is e first guy who really treat me as who i am. Its like 7yrs ordy when i last saw him. How i wish tt i can see him again in my life, jus a glance, a glance will do. Cos i really really miss him. He is 1 of e friend i wont forget.