Tired

Im breaking up, Falling apart soon.. Wonder how long more i can still hold on to my Armour tt i had been putting in front of me so i can put on e brave front. But recently i dun tink i can do it. Been too sensitive in some place till i wana kill myself really cant take it anymore. How will i pick up my piece of armour be4 it all fall apart? Who will be with me or lend me e strength to pick it up? I'm tired of holding it on for 5yrs ordy. Really tired till i dun really feel like myself anymore. 5yrs tts like kinda long but i tink i still hv to hold on for more yrs ahead but i really cant anymore. When i feel like crying i still have to hide in some place so other ppl wont c it. Maybe it oso my fault tt i want myself to have a brave front in front of every1 i know maybe in e beginning its all my fault for this. Which shoulder can i lean on when i wan to cry? Whr will be the place tt i can really really cry out loud??