RECOVERING - - - - - - - 1%

Work was really tired tis week.. After my 6 days off goin back to work is like waking me up from a gud dream.. Not enough slp n idiotic pax.. 6 days of leave really did not much 11dec went to k wif dan, 12-13dec re-paint my rm, 14dec went to temple due end of yr liao need to do some prayers, 15dec slack at hm 16dec went out wif my working friends.. then yesterday was at trsf ctr.. damn boring n i almost fell asleep n then i decided to msg him.. well surprisingly he reply back damn fast lolz.. its quite a while i didnt ctc him le.. last was on 5dec if not wrg.. cos he promise to come to my bday celebration but in e end didnt turn up.. well cant blame him cos he's in e army so if he book out on sat n come down for e bday surely he will be damn tired.. aft a few sms exchange i jus realise tt is was all my wishful thinking.. Ya i admit i really wish for a lot of things to happen but in e end not even 1 came true. His sms jus give me e feelings tt we are jus normal friends really normal so i have decided to forget e feeling i had for him n move on.. n when deleting e msg i have still kept in my hp i was a bit cant bear to do it cos looking at those sms wif e words "TAKE CARE AR" is like my heart is pierce by something it may sound ridiculars but i really felt tt way.. MR.J thks for making my life more colorful jus by knowing you. You are a really great friend to have. Thinking back if i was more ladylike when i first met him would it turn out to be better.. Well who knows but i did try to be more ladylike or more depending to others when i was still in ITE cos many of my friends say i was so tomboy lolz.. but after 3 yrs of tryin i give up cos when i saw how my guys friend gf treats them or how some of e gals act like they are so "fragile" so tt e guys will always protect them but its like e guys will be very tired cos they always need to look out for them ya i know tt e guys are more than happy to protect e gals they like but i jus cant do it or rather i jus cant act like i was "fragile".. Still remember when i was in ITE 1ST yr i was like always crying in frnt of my friends cos if some conflickwif one n other n family then i was like kindda realise tt those who c me crying every now n then was like fustrated or wat ba.. N then i decided again tt i wont cry out in frnt of my friends again.. Lucky it was almost yr end so i wont be seeing them for a while .. N i manage to do it.. tt whole yr i really didnt cry in frnt of them again till when my grandma pass away but they oso didnt saw it la.. till now i'm still happy tt i did e action if not i dun tink i will have tis many great friends.. Sry MR.J my feelings for you wont take tt fast to be taken away.. so wish you all e best..( since i decided to post his "J" here of cos he wont c tis blog la n he oso didnt know bout my feelings so friends ur no need to guess who he is.. tata"